ELECTIONS OR NOT, FUN GOES ON…
10 August 2018
HELLO H-Metro readers,
IT feels good to be back standing on this humble and yet ‘anointed’ pulpit; preaching again with pride and zest.
To my old and new congregants, I won’t stop whipping morons and hotheads into line as per our tradition.
This is the kind of deliverance we are known for dishing freely in our quest for a mampara(less) society.
I’m also aware there are those who would easily take this column as a platform to shame lunatics caught offside.
However, this is not yours truly’s intention as the pulpit is sacred and highly anointed.
So ‘sacred’ is this podium that we continue exorcising demons trailing and tormenting my celebrity friends.
This week’s short sermon is a bit special since it comes barely a fortnight since the July 30 harmonised elections.
And being an ‘ordained’ showbiz prophet, I know your genuine fears but I wouldn’t want to go deeper into politics.
If I were to go deeper, then I would be doing so to whip morons in line as well as exorcising the demon of fear.
I also hear some of my celebrity friends have been treading with caution during the build up to the polls.
Someone also whispered to me that the faint-hearted celebrities have been sneezing after violence broke out last week.
I sympathise with you because there were reports of most pubs closing earlier amid reports thugs were indiscriminately harassing merry-makers.
But yours truly feels there is no need for you to continue starving fun-loving people of performances out of fear anymore.
I can also assure you that the demon of fear has been defeated today.
If I may be allowed to take a cue from this well-known lanky papa of ours, I’m simply saying to the demon of fear, ‘come out now’.
On a serious note, there is no need for you to continue reading much into the post-election violence, which has since been thwarted.
I’m aware that summer time, which my peers prefer calling shama time, is now upon us.
To merry-makers, let’s forget our sorrows and enjoy our savings.
Like any other nation, we have our political differences but fun is the only painkiller and unifier we need to heal our wounds.
To those with open air joints like my brother Boss Spencer at Motor Action, we are ready for open air sessions with our beloved DJs.
To my other brother running Family 24 and of course this other uncle of mine doing wonders in Chi-town among others, we are ready to party.
In the Skies, I know no one will intimidate you.
I also hear by brother Bodyslam, who tried his hand in politics in the harmonised elections but was unfortunate to lose, is back with another madirirano at Takashinga Cricket Club this Saturday.
In other ghettos, open air joints and bottle stores, I also hear it’s drinking and merry-making as usual.
This is the kind of fun yours truly is yearning for as we set aside our political differences.
Those who enjoy merry-making in shebeens like kuMasofa in many ghettos, why not party and merry-make as before.
After all you all work and you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your sweat.
Then there are those who are madly in love with live performances.
I hear Alick Macheso, Leonard Zhakata, Romeo Gasa and of Soma have never stopped holding shows.
Some have even stepped up the game after realising fear won’t bring food on the table.
And if you are like this preacher who prefers frequenting dingy bars, let’s go out and drinks are on me.
Of course there are those madly in love with indoor shows or clubbing.
By now you all know were supremely divine clubs that offer adult entertainment are found.
In Harare, Bulawayo and Mutare, I hear adult entertainment is now popular, thanks to Mudhara BC.
I haven’t spoken with him in detail just to understand his modus operandi but I hear he has the keys when it comes to adult entertainment.
By the way, my congregants have self-pride and by now you know where to go when you want to have a taste of theatre, film, laid back acoustic music and even fashion shows.
As fun-loving people, we can’t afford to miss it owing to post election violence fears that have long been thwarted.
In short, that’s my short sermon for this week, thanks to my panel that gave me this topic: “elections or no elections, fun goes on…”
MAMPARA OF THE WEEK
As has become the norm, I would not have done justice leaving this pulpit without whipping one or two morons into line.
Like I indicated earlier on, I didn’t want to go into politics because I know there are ‘generals’ who are qualified to handle such matters.
But as the famed Greek philosopher Aristotle would want to say it, ‘we are all political animals’.
Therefore, there is no way we can avoid politics but there is need for political players to play the game intelligently.
Back on the showbiz scene, there was quite a lot which has been happening but we have just decided to give them a chance to repent but next week, we are definitely going to whip you in line.
On a parting shot, I just pray that you have a blessed and bloodless Heroes and Defence Forces holidays.
I rest my case here. Happy reading and stay blessed.
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